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- TOP TEN THINGS THAT WILL GET YOU KICKED OUT OF THE MISS
- AMERICA PAGEANT
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- 10. Plant bloody tiara in other contestant's dressing room
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- 9. Get caught in bed with Frank Gifford
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- 8. Accidentally leave the price tag on your breasts
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- 7. During the talent competition, constantly yell "Gong her!"
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- 6. Wear sash that says "Bite Me"
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- 5. When asked your hobby, reply "Rich elderly men"
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- 4. Your talent? Eating a peach (VT peach-eating woman)
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- 3. Shout to the judges, "Don't forget last night at the Marriott!"
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- 2. List your favorite book as the Packwood Diaries
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- 1. Stop smiling for a couple of seconds
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- Letterman, Friday, Septermber 15, 1995
- ) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. All Rights Reserved
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